Hashtag Parsons Green: They Got Very, Very Lucky…

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Het is weer zover.

Een explosie in de metro van London.

De IED (Improvised Explosive Device) ontplofte gelukkig niet helemaal en dus geen doden, wel een aantal gewonden.

Een bom in een metro die door een tunnel raast heeft echt hele heftige effecten.

Er is op dit moment nog weinig bekend.

Zoals meer frequente lezers weten: ik heb geruime tijd in London gewoond en gewerkt en yes, ook deze buurt ken ik goed.

Dit is The Guardian, die ga ik in de gaten houden.

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The Guardian: Parsons Green explosion caused by IED that only partly blew up, police suspect – latest updates.

Ik ga tevens een beetje voor CNN en de BBC hangen, eens zien wat er zoal geblaat wordt.

Watch this space for more, I will update the article as I get more annoyed.

Twee en twintig (22) gewonden. Massive manhunt is underway.

Zou dit dan dat “rechtse terrorisme” zijn waar Kuzu en DENK zich zo druk om maken?

BBC en Sky News rapporteren nu dat the device had a timer. 

Die bom moest dus afgaan als de dader lekker van het perron af was, onderweg naar huis.

Die mensen in die metro hebben echt supermazzel gehad. Dit had vele malen erger kunnen aflopen.

Fuck!

Noord Korea fuckt onze terorristische aanslag. Ze hebben weer een raket over Japan heen geschoten en dat is ook wereldnieuws.

En fokking BBC neemt CNN over, dus beide kanalen wisselen af tussen de raket en de subway attack.

Stomme Kim Jung Un!

Die kulul fuckt mijn terroristische aanslag-televisie!

The Guardian meldt dat de brandweer binnen DRIE fokking minuten ter plaatste was.

Dat is een soort wereldwonder, in London midday traffic.

Oh, goed… de hashtag rouwporno is begonnen.

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Op CNN is nu een vent aan het blaten over hoe geweldig de first responders waren en supersnel ter plaatse en we werken zo goed samen. Daarna wist ie maar liefst drie (3) keer (x) uit te leggen: we are a very tolerant city, we are a very progressive city and we have multiple nationalities living here. Veel mensen die CNN kijken weten niet dat er allemaal verschillende nationaliteiten in London wonen.

Dan hier de local rouwporno.

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Zo, die Tweets zijn de deur uit.

Mijn werk zit er weer op.

Het is een reflexieve, bijna ritualistische handeling die echt nergens meer op slaat en vooral fake en hollow overkomt.

Dan is het tijd om vooral te drammen over resilience. 

“Ons” krijgen ze niet kapot!

Deze stad is united en Londoners are going about their business, not letting this incident get them down.

Oh leuk!

Sommige mensen liepen richting de bomb.

Maybe the security threat level will be raised to “critical”… if police determine there is a bomber on the loose. 

(Gaaaaaaaap! Ja en maybe gaat het regenen).

Some witnesses noticed wires coming out of the IED; the device is being investigated for clues.

(Nee toch?!?!? Echt?!?? Joh!)

Oh en Donald Trump heeft ze “loser terrorists” genoemd.

And…. he is gonna cut off their Internet.

Why not go all the way and take away their PlayStation too?

Oh and Lidl just lost its fucking mind completely.

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So the bomb is in a Lidl keep-cool bag.

And here’s Lidl’s response.

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So get this: the low education employees of Lidl – most of them oddly Salafist and Muslim – are going to “help” Police do exactly what?

Disarm the bomb?

Hunt down terrorists?

No wait… give them the exact date and time this particular plastic bag was bought and in what Lidl Supermarket?

Do all of these bags contain a GPS tracker?

SlimK1nd hereby also offers to help.

We can like ehm… sit here and just hang online and such while drinking beer.

We are “monitoring the situation closely”.

With beer.

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Hospitals now report 19 injured, mostly “light injuries”.

Again: those people are so very fucking lucky!

Both CNN and BBC have now begun bitching about Donald Trump’s tweets.

They are now called “unhelpful tweets”, since yes… tweets can be “helpful” too.

 Data processing.

The real work, at present, is being done by computers and software. All CCTV footage from the subway station and inside the train will be hauled into this huge database/mainframe. Human eyes will then go over the footage, from all kinds of angles and isolate 1,2, 5, 20 “persons of interest”. They will then tag tag those images and send them to GCHQ, MI6 and of course our friends from the NSA. They then tell the huge supercomputers and algorithms: find these fuckheads for us! This then pretty much happens in realtime, processing huge amounts of data. The “persons of interest” will be identified and – if proven viable enough – located and apprehended (or killed if they resist arrest or plan to harm anybody else). 

I hope this happens as soon as possible.

Update: 3:42PM

Theresa May’s speech slash update: The Peace and Security Services are doing a wonderful job. We want the public to go about their daily lives, but remain vigilant. We are investigating this latest attack and will find and prosecute those responsible. Yawn. Heard it all before. The whole charade took less than two (2) whole minutes.

She then told a journalist we’re also working with the Internet companies to gather more data. 

(And she is apparently doing something with France/Macron and those very same Internet companies to combat extremism).

 The Guardian makes a point of bashing Donald Trump.

Any Guardian reporter that does so gets a free bottle of wine.

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CNN and BBC have had eyewitness reports; it always amazes me how calm these people are.

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If it were me?

I would be pissing myself and crying hysterically.

Siddiq Khan says: “Terrorists will not divide this city, or disrupt our way of life. We will not be defeated”.

Just like he said the previous 6? 7? attacks.

The BBC tried to get Siddiq to comment on Donald Trump’s tweets, but he kinda dodged any real answer.

The Preacher’s Daughter (Theresa May) is going to police the Internet and all the “hate” that is put out across it.

Does that seem like any logical, sane and adequate sort of response to the pervasive, radical Islamic terrorism the world, Europe and the UK have been experiencing?

Apparently, when visiting the US, she will also visit Rodeo Drive, a famous upscale shopping street, where she will buy new soap.

That will teach those (non denominational, non religious, non ethnic and genderneutral) “extremists”!

Oh and CNN reports that “thanks to North Korea, Japanese schoolchildren are hearing air raid sirens again, for the first time since world war II”.

 Update: 17:21

CNN’s Hala Gorani just contemplated: “What does ‘be vigilant’ really mean? In this case, the bomb was in a shopping bag. Should I now worry about all shopping bags”?

I love in-depth reporting.

On that note: I am signing off.

… to be continued.

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