Concerned Letter to UK friends

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———- Forwarded message ———-
From: ********************************************************
Date: Wed, Nov 9, 2016 at 2:16 PM
Subject: Mayn
To: ***********, *********************

Hi both,

Well, our fellow-somewhat-English speakers on the other side of the Atlantic really did it. Donald Trump is the new President of the United States. A regressive, reactionary, jingoist, misogynist, bigot-windbag with zero insight into this world of ours.

Woe is us. For some reason the Republican Party just keeps bringing forth real winners such as Nixon and Reagan, Baby Bush the Decider and now this monster.

Markets have responded with a nosedive 🙂 The womenfolk in our household have been cursing all day 🙂 … and I decided to open a chilled bottle of white wine just a wee bit early. (I am coping, okay?)

Considering the “special relationship” the UK has w/ the US… I have these feelings of impending doom. You poor people. First Brexit, then Harry turns out to be seriously dating that wench from “Suits” and now this??!? I mean how much punishment can a single country take?

Can you imagine Donald Trump “conversing” with y’know seriously educated, title-bearing Brits in high-positions? I presume they’ll have to speak in short sentences and use hand- and facial-gestures, just like in kindergarden.

Beckons the question: What foreign adventures will this megalomaniac drag the UK (and the rest of us) into?

***** and I are particularly lucky. Due to our intellect and generally odd behaviour we’re not considered “able bodied men”. This essentially means we’d never be asked to bear arms in offense against or defense of anything really. I mean… we’d defend our laptop to some extent, but we can always buy a new one. And we’d probably object to anybody taking our last beer from the fridge? But we’d be able to order in and resolve that peacefully as well.

Other men might not be so lucky.

This is just bad bad news my friends.

Regards,

 

*****

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